You have got to be kidding.

**Please note that I wrote this frustrated, this is not my constant view on loan repayment.**

Dear Readers, please forgive the huge delay in post time. I could give you the long list of reasons for the blog-silence, but let me boil it down to this: getting out of debt is hard. Most obviously financially, but also emotionally and physically.

The alarm sounded at school at noon on Friday, December 13th, a half day due to final exams and I rush to collect my things, grab my graded exams yet to be entered in the gradebook and speed over to the restaurant to work an eight hour shift. I sleep until noon the next day and go back in at two only to put in eight more hours. Then again on Sunday and Monday. The brief rest on Christmas Eve and Christmas (which was filled with wonderful time with family) was only ended by going back to work doubles on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Thankfully we have a new waitress and she asked to take my shift today. Yes, new girl, I will gladly give you my shift andย forfeitย the money I could have made.ย 

All of this culminates with going to bank to deposit money to put on my loans. Within 5 shifts I paid $693 (not including my paycheck). Whew.

Then tonight I have the bright idea to go back and see just how much I have paid to my loans this year. Although I keep a monthly tally in my budget, I do not frequently check the annual amount. This is my first year to begin paying my loans and upon adding the total, I have currently paid $25,221.31. THAT IS A DOWN PAYMENT ON A HOUSE. THAT IS A CAR. THAT IS A BIG FAT SAVINGS ACCOUNT. It is so many things but is money that I will not ever see again.

Could you believe that a 25 year old could have a savings account of $25k if she did not have student loans? Could you believe that I could be traveling, starting more hobbies, have actual free time to spend with family and friends, time to ride my bike more often and not live with my parents?

How many more years do I have to work like a madwoman, live with the idea that I can’t even think about a serious relationship until I’m out of debt, or live with the huge desire to travel the world but not actually get to do it?

Sorry to be Debt-Free Debby Downer here, but seriously? I’m beyond frustrated.

Thank you college education and graduate school, you have clearly done me very well.

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15 Comments

  1. It’s hard to get out of debt, that’s for sure. You wrote that this is money you will never see. Well, you really already saw it when you went to college and grad school. It paid the bills. Just keep at it and the end will come eventually. I hope some of these PF blogs are reminders to young people coming up that this kind of debt is just not worth it. There REALLY is another way to get an education. I speak from experience! (I am a recent grad with no debt and no help from anyone at all!)

    • Very true, Tatiana. I definitely kick myself for having used loan money to help pay rent and bills during grad school- I wish I would have known better (my Dad actually told me it would be a good idea to use the loans for that and I believed him). Students definitely need to be educated about the gravity of loans. That’s awesome you didn’t have to take out loans to finance your education though! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. You are doing an amazing job! 25k in a year is no easy feat. I don’t even know how you do it, but you’re hustling hard. I have the same frustrations daily and you just need to move through the emotions. They are normal.

  3. Pingback: New Year’s Post? Nah. | Debt Free Tejana

  4. Awesome job this year! I really admire people like you who are doing incredible debt payoff on your own! I’m spoiled with an awesome husband, which makes the ups and downs of debt repayment much easier since between the two of us, at least one of us is feeling motivated and enthusiastic.

    Keep up the good work in 2014 and you’ll be through with this debt thing soon!

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